2 tips to avoid being pulled into a failure spiral

Have you ever wondered how you can begin to feel a little better, even in those bleak moments of failing? Cos that failure-spiral … it’s usually going down, not up.

It could be anything. Work. Relationship(s). Parenting. Eating.

But, let’s use food as an example.

When overeating or food-anxiety have been around for a while, it’s easy to consider that something’s gone wrong—and that never feels good! 

Even if it’s not you in this moment, you can feel it by simply repeating the sentence, “There’s something wrong with me.” 

What comes up when you say those words? Probably something like deflation, hopelessness or bone-deep fatigue.

Where to go from that place of mental exhaustion and rock-bottom motivation?

Here are couple of strategies to experiment with. 

Practice them and you’ll feel a little bit better without having to do very much at all.

1. Add a 3-letter word

That word is, YET.

💬 I haven’t figured out this food thing … yet.A

💬 I don’t know how to feel better … yet.

💬 I haven’t made peace with my body … yet

Do you sense a shift? 

An infusion of inquisitiveness or possibility. 

An injection of energy and future-focus that lifts you just a fraction.

If you do, remember that 3-letter word and add it onto the end of any thought that brings you down.

2. Ask, “Am I absolutely sure about that?”

Our human brains have an inbuilt negativity bias—they constantly look for what’s wrong as a protection mechanism. 

Sometimes we assume the worst and ignore what’s going ok. 

Challenge overshadows triumph. Success is clouded as the next goal emerges.

Everyone I work with—no exceptions—has achieved amazing things. But they don’t always recognise them.

Do you acknowledge what you’ve accomplished, large and small? Perhaps … just perhaps … there’s more to you than you’re assuming.

Here are 4 questions to use, especially when you’re down on yourself:

  • When did I trust my intuition, and it proved to be the right choice?
  • What was a difficult challenge I got through?
  • When did I learn the most important lessons in my life? Was it easy or challenging at the time?
  • If a good friend told me what they liked and admired about me, what would they say?

Although it’s tempting (I know it is!), don’t brush off those break-throughs & accomplishments. 

Notice what it’s like to accept them as real and as yours.

To wrap up

During those times of being right in the middle of a challenge, it can feel as if it’s never going to be different or get better.

It’s always part of reaching for something new.

Keep going. The mists will clear.

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